










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3529 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6536 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5700 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3822 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,486 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jony | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Alves | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ZGREDEKSZUKASKARPETY | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ββ βKaloskiββ β | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | _DZIK2K_ | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ββ βKaloskiββ β | 584 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | ZGREDEKSZUKASKARPETY | 513 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sakramencki BΕysk skins.army | 344 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | zedd | 188 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Alves | 137 | 0.07 | 3 min |





