








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 26% |
| Smokes | 409 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 318 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,166 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ticooo♛ | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Pata | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Novah | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | KettleBoiler493 | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | Mat | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Novah | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | KettleBoiler493 | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | Mat | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Ali | 53% | 51 |
| #7 | RestinRaxys | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KettleBoiler493 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Novah | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | 128 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | KettleBoiler493 | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ali | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pata | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mat | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | +2.60 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Ticooo♛ | +2.14 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | Noot Noot | +1.17 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | Pata | +0.60 | 87 | 64 |
| #5 | KettleBoiler493 | -0.70 | 72 | 46 |





