








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2272 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1438 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 100 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 1086 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,640 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gogaloga | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Pata | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | sPY | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | RestinRaxys | 49% | 136 |
| #5 | AL | 43% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RestinRaxys | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | AL | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RestinRaxys | 227 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | sPY | 147 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | AL | 107 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pata | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gogaloga | 34 | 0.19 | 1 min |





