










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1255 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2449 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,074 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | 58% | 330 |
| #2 | oushens | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KettleBoiler493 | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Kanye South | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | Noot Noot | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oushens | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KettleBoiler493 | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Kanye South | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | Noot Noot | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | sonorahh | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Kanye South | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | oushens | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | KettleBoiler493 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Noot Noot | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | 1456 | 0.22 | 42 min |
| #2 | Noot Noot | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kanye South | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | KettleBoiler493 | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | oushens | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novah | +3.63 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | oushens | +1.79 | 81 | 42 |
| #3 | Noot Noot | +0.78 | 73 | 45 |
| #4 | Ali | -0.34 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | KettleBoiler493 | -1.22 | 68 | 51 |





