










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2864 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1451 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 390 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $409,432 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akira | 40% | 88 |
| #2 | kitra | 39% | 241 |
| #3 | X | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | klaymen9 | 22% | 23 |
| #5 | vienna?¿ | 21% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akira | 40% | 88 |
| #2 | kitra | 39% | 241 |
| #3 | X | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | klaymen9 | 22% | 23 |
| #5 | vienna?¿ | 21% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kitra | 97 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | akira | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | vienna?¿ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | X | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kitra | 300 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | akira | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | vienna?¿ | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | X | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | klaymen9 | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X | +3.95 | 33 | 65 |
| #2 | kitra | +1.49 | 39 | 29 |
| #3 | vienna?¿ | -1.03 | 35 | 51 |
| #4 | kitler | -1.11 | 32 | 32 |
| #5 | klaymen9 | -1.98 | 50 | 36 |





