








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 10% |
| Smokes | 4819 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5336 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3734 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,822,812 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mikk | 48% | 153 |
| #7 | pyrr | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | hunter69 | 47% | 286 |
| #9 | kassixo | 46% | 305 |
| #10 | Kristus | 42% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldest | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | kassixo | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | PLANETIK | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | hunter69 | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | mõngel | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldest | 1469 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | PLANETIK | 1225 | 0.11 | 33 min |
| #3 | hunter69 | 694 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #4 | mõngel | 500 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #5 | kassixo | 450 | 0.07 | 10 min |





