








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2885 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2749 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5385 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,975,399 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 837 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÐeAgLe | RuBBeR BuLLeTs | 708 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | V4nH4cK | 246 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | PoPo-Jb | 188 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Petite tête de cacahuète | 130 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Genghis chan | 128 | 0.05 | 4 min |





