








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2146 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,560 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Seb✪Z | 35% | 26 |
| #16 | ÐeAgLe | RuBBeR BuLLeTs | 33% | 12 |
| #17 | = { Keyliane } = 可愛い | 29% | 24 |
| #18 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 27% | 11 |
| #19 | zatmania | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 3 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Purple | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | = { Keyliane } = 可愛い | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | el Gustav | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | zatmania | 1 | 0.0040 |





