








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3267 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3363 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5933 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4690 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,627,540 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnknownUser | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | ✘Denis | 61% | 108 |
| #3 | PS1 Hagrid | 58% | 124 |
| #4 | b.shiesty2stony | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | Scotty P. | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘Denis | 168 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | PS1 Hagrid | 103 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bommel | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | b.shiesty2stony | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Menlo | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashhLAW. | +3.05 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | PS1 Hagrid | +1.76 | 77 | 32 |
| #3 | ✘Denis | +1.37 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | Scotty P. | +0.43 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | b.shiesty2stony | +0.35 | 42 | 53 |





