








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2410 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1688 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,975 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | wootwooot | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | undemd | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | W12YEAH | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | yui | 36% | 33 |
| #13 | Wesliiiiii | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthur | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Nikoichi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | noobshotz | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | -.-Aboxgwer-.- | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | yui | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthur | 522 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nikoichi | 415 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | noobshotz | 235 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | -.-Aboxgwer-.- | 200 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | undemd | 108 | 0.27 | 3 min |





