








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3748 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2959 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2897 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1180 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,274 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wootwooot | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Brawws | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | yui | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | W12YEAH | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | -.-Aboxgwer-.- | 55% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Houtarou | 49% | 112 |
| #10 | noobshotz | 48% | 105 |
| #11 | Wesliiiiii | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | undemd | 35% | 40 |
| #13 | Loonatic | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikoichi | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | -.-Aboxgwer-.- | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Sourmelon | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Houtarou | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | noobshotz | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikoichi | 549 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Houtarou | 293 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | -.-Aboxgwer-.- | 262 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | noobshotz | 248 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | undemd | 204 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikoichi | +3.08 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Loonatic | +2.61 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Arthur | +1.07 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | noobshotz | +0.47 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | Sourmelon | +0.37 | 68 | 65 |





