








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1886 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2416 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,070 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malkovitz | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | qbxnxx | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Trejser | 57% | 207 |
| #4 | Dawcio | 54% | 106 |
| #5 | awpc | 53% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleep | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Trejser | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Mayonezi | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | qbxnxx | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | awpc | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleep | 457 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | Trejser | 356 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | awpc | 331 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Dawcio | 150 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mayonezi | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trejser | +7.37 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | awpc | +3.59 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Sleep | +0.45 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Mayonezi | -0.35 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | Malkovitz | -1.48 | 56 | 59 |





