








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 310 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2642 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3795 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2651 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3027 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,749 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otzy | 51% | 148 |
| #2 | pRoteina | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | ElPatron | 49% | 219 |
| #4 | AndrewJ | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | v1enttt | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pRoteina | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | ElPatron | 49% | 219 |
| #4 | AndrewJ | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | v1enttt | 35% | 57 |
| #6 | Kentavious | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElPatron | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | AndrewJ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Kentavious | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otzy | 506 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | ElPatron | 390 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | v1enttt | 224 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | pRoteina | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | AndrewJ | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndrewJ | +2.27 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Ted | +0.38 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | ElPatron | +0.19 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | v1enttt | +0.05 | 55 | 69 |
| #5 | pRoteina | -0.52 | 66 | 66 |





