








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1015 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1077 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1025 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,619 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pRoteina | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Maneolog de Serviciu | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | AndrewJ | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Kentavious | 35% | 54 |
| #5 | Ted | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AndrewJ | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Kentavious | 35% | 54 |
| #5 | Ted | 35% | 57 |
| #6 | ElPatron | 34% | 58 |
| #7 | otzy | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentavious | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted | 209 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ElPatron | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | otzy | 101 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kentavious | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maneolog de Serviciu | 51 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pRoteina | +2.73 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | ElPatron | +1.10 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | v1enttt | +0.54 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Ted | +0.31 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | AndrewJ | -1.34 | 81 | 70 |





