








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1438 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2273 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,920 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoseR | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | El Colino | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Tingel_Tangel_Bob | 55% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoseR | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | El Colino | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Tingel_Tangel_Bob | 55% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tingel_Tangel_Bob | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | El Colino | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tingel_Tangel_Bob | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | El Colino | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | LoseR | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Colino | +4.89 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | LoseR | +1.81 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | Boban | +0.14 | 62 | 55 |
| #4 | Tingel_Tangel_Bob | -1.03 | 59 | 57 |





