








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 961 | 27% |
| Smokes | 889 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 700 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,916 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Felis | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Christian Kern | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | LoseR | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | ich gehe nackig kacken | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | El Colino | 67% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | El Colino | 67% | 42 |
| #6 | TxM | 63% | 19 |
| #7 | djarabek95 | 60% | 20 |
| #8 | Boban | 55% | 88 |
| #9 | Max | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Colino | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Boban | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | TxM | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | djarabek95 | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | LoseR | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boban | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | El Colino | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | djarabek95 | 26 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Max | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | LoseR | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Colino | +5.60 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | djarabek95 | +2.27 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | Boban | +1.51 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Felis | +1.26 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | TxM | +0.48 | 60 | 44 |





