








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1221 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1151 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1225 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,760 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1n | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | 10 | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Dahaz | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | POP | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Edicto | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 10 | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Dahaz | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | POP | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Edicto | 54% | 70 |
| #6 | メスブタ | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1n | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | POP | 4 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | 10 | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | Edicto | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Dahaz | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1n | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Edicto | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | POP | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dahaz | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | 10 | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1n | +3.41 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | Deuk | +2.87 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | 10 | +2.26 | 94 | 58 |
| #4 | Edicto | -0.12 | 82 | 45 |
| #5 | Dahaz | -0.77 | 61 | 51 |





