








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 17% |
| Smokes | 733 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1217 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1015 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,648 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2701 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ball Up Top | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | HayWireSky | 46% | 106 |
| #3 | yurple fanna drinker | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | OffhandMussel | 45% | 114 |
| #5 | Diddy | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Diddy | 43% | 88 |
| #6 | SnixxterZ | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | Mr.Santa🎅 | 34% | 29 |
| #8 | bonehead | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | BucDING | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HayWireSky | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Ball Up Top | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Diddy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Mr.Santa🎅 | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | OffhandMussel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OffhandMussel | 328 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | HayWireSky | 246 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mr.Santa🎅 | 141 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | yurple fanna drinker | 109 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Diddy | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OffhandMussel | +1.74 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | HayWireSky | +1.71 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Yoda | -0.06 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | Mr.Santa🎅 | -0.98 | 70 | 82 |
| #5 | yurple fanna drinker | -1.27 | 56 | 55 |





