








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2705 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1844 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,078,010 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forsaken | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | SNAK3BIT3 | 46% | 81 |
| #3 | Deadly | 45% | 264 |
| #4 | Wedgehog | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | BON | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Drunkenmonkey | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | TDP | 38% | 29 |
| #11 | Lo.Ons | 29% | 21 |
| #12 | Valyrian | 23% | 26 |
| #13 | Waco_ | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadly | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TDP | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Wedgehog | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Waco_ | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Elite | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadly | 222 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | SNAK3BIT3 | 200 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Elite | 139 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Forsaken | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | TDP | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forsaken | +3.62 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Lo.Ons | +3.17 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | SNAK3BIT3 | +2.51 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | Elite | +2.27 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Anlon | +1.01 | 54 | 58 |





