








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1285 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 438 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1017 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,985 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | www | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | almond | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | milk | 52% | 75 |
| #4 | subl!me | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | uripls | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdc | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | subl!me | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | www | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | almond | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 479 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #2 | milk | 448 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | subl!me | 197 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | jdc | 156 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | www | 92 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | www | +3.57 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | +3.28 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | subl!me | +1.48 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | muc | +0.59 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | milk | +0.52 | 67 | 64 |





