








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1833 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1975 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1054 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1185 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,923 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | agent | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | almond | 63% | 63 |
| #3 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 59% | 158 |
| #4 | uripls | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | budder | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | budder | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | milk | 58% | 155 |
| #7 | subl!me | 58% | 139 |
| #8 | jdc | 50% | 32 |
| #9 | muc | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | subl!me | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | almond | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | agent | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 1074 | 0.33 | 22 min |
| #2 | milk | 913 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #3 | subl!me | 471 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | jdc | 188 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | budder | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | www | +2.70 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | +2.46 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | subl!me | +0.93 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | milk | +0.00 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | muc | -0.03 | 78 | 55 |





