








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1215 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1278 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1140 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,352 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | paul | 67% | 18 |
| #6 | Ayzee | 63% | 35 |
| #7 | Shakoun | 63% | 51 |
| #8 | Deus | 56% | 25 |
| #9 | wurmsoN | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 167 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | Shakoun | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | wurmsoN | 160 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ayzee | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Deus | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaPoR™ | +2.50 | 95 | 63 |
| #2 | xDemixD | +2.14 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Shakoun | +2.12 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Ayzee | +2.00 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | Waves | +1.32 | 74 | 60 |





