








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4315 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3884 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4851 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3775 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,842,493 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 747 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyClean | 64% | 78 |
| #2 | War Pig | 64% | 165 |
| #3 | CowHitFace | 63% | 276 |
| #4 | Just1n | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | srebbiT | 59% | 426 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | CowHitFace | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ♥ curiCURAcarapata ♥ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | marcelo | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Trabbi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | 1799 | 0.21 | 44 min |
| #2 | CowHitFace | 904 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | marcelo | 548 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | War Pig | 437 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | ♥ curiCURAcarapata ♥ | 204 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | +2.12 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | CowHitFace | +2.02 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Sn4ke_Eyes | +1.08 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | Just1n | +0.61 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | marcelo | +0.27 | 90 | 66 |





