








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2168 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3183 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3393 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,829 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1n | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | ĸvƝ | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | CowHitFace | 58% | 113 |
| #4 | vlo ṩ | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | srebbiT | 54% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | War Pig | 46% | 80 |
| #12 | EMhighkz | 43% | 77 |
| #13 | Max | 43% | 68 |
| #14 | FaggotHD.pro.pl.Herr.ru | 42% | 31 |
| #15 | bennetelli | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Max | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sn4ke_Eyes | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | CowHitFace | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | marcelo | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | 710 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | CowHitFace | 334 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | EMhighkz | 277 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sn4ke_Eyes | 254 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | War Pig | 221 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srebbiT | +2.19 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | CowHitFace | +1.84 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | ĸvƝ | +1.17 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | Sn4ke_Eyes | +1.03 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | Just1n | +0.91 | 82 | 62 |





