








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2077 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2738 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2301 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,753 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexdoesthings | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Leany | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | n0LiFE | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | pat | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Bravex2TV | 33% | 42 |
| #13 | Jing Yang | 31% | 16 |
| #14 | StarDewBD | 30% | 23 |
| #15 | ehtan | 23% | 13 |
| #16 | BLAZZIN | 17% | 24 |





