








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 695 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1088 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1691 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,494 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TodesWels | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | SecTeck | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | ♿ Laars | 60% | 109 |
| #4 | M1sterL | 58% | 168 |
| #5 | füssélrûlèzz | 58% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1sterL | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | füssélrûlèzz | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | 🎀♡uwu♡uwu♡🎀 | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ♿ Laars | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | alexyzzz | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1sterL | 923 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #2 | füssélrûlèzz | 503 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | alexyzzz | 263 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | ♿ Laars | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | 🎀♡uwu♡uwu♡🎀 | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1sterL | +3.01 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | Leiti | +1.17 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | TodesWels | +0.91 | 52 | 57 |
| #4 | alexyzzz | +0.75 | 54 | 73 |
| #5 | 🎀♡uwu♡uwu♡🎀 | +0.52 | 63 | 47 |





