








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Esplay | 19 matches | 1,682 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6298 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7970 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6209 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5714 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,647 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | mox | 48% | 69 |
| #13 | KaraCheez | 45% | 116 |
| #14 | Mackan | 44% | 160 |
| #15 | ✠GuhbaDjeuvul✠ | 42% | 76 |
| #16 | Elina | 39% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaraCheez | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Pand4^ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | JerkaN | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Mackan | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | maRky | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackan | 596 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Elina | 434 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | maRky | 418 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Nkish ;> | 417 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Pand4^ | 349 | 0.17 | 9 min |





