








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7100 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8179 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5598 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4177 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,449 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | stv | 50% | 228 |
| #11 | nso | 47% | 36 |
| #12 | zaewta👻 | 44% | 52 |
| #13 | ✠GuhbaDjeuvul✠ | 44% | 89 |
| #14 | KaraCheez | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nkish ;> | 668 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mackan | 621 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Elina | 465 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | maRky | 367 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Storren | 346 | 0.16 | 8 min |





