








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1639 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1548 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1577 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,104 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feNei | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | QNNN | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Balsa ツ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | you | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | MorkaN | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Balsa ツ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | you | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | MorkaN | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | MoofsteR. ツ | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | döner mit senF | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoofsteR. ツ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | you | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorkaN | 235 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | Balsa ツ | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | feNei | 50 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | döner mit senF | 46 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | you | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you | +4.17 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Balsa ツ | +1.23 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | MorkaN | +1.21 | 88 | 84 |
| #4 | BuTtErBr0t | +1.10 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | feNei | +0.93 | 65 | 71 |





