








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3870 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2820 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3082 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4027 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,410,143 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooShu | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | Gettooled | 53% | 308 |
| #3 | Kidant | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooShu | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | Gettooled | 53% | 308 |
| #3 | Kidant | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gettooled | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | MooShu | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kidant | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gettooled | 972 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Exoskeletal | 214 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | MooShu | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kidant | 106 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gettooled | +1.77 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | TheSpermThatWon | +0.93 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | Exoskeletal | -0.39 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Kidant | -1.13 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | MooShu | -1.28 | 88 | 53 |





