








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 25% |
| Smokes | 776 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1974 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1634 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,822 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IsuS^ | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | tusek | 67% | 48 |
| #3 | Ustaša | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | Dzimi Hendrik | 62% | 103 |
| #5 | satoru | 61% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzimi Hendrik | 614 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | satoru | 477 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | tusek | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Commissar Mannheim | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🦍🦍 | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satoru | +3.16 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | Dzimi Hendrik | +2.60 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | Exile | +1.05 | 84 | 41 |
| #4 | tusek | +1.02 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | Zardan | +0.05 | 48 | 57 |





