








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3433 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2696 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2363 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2784 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,984 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juaneria | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | Tarwars | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | v^3 | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juaneria | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | Tarwars | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | v^3 | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juaneria | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | v^3 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juaneria | 365 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | v^3 | 200 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 180 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tarwars | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R8 BANANA CANNON | +1.61 | 82 | 49 |
| #2 | Tarwars | +1.52 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Juaneria | +0.73 | 71 | 48 |
| #4 | Advil | +0.39 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | v^3 | -0.33 | 59 | 57 |





