








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3794 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3826 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2293 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $951,822 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juaneria | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | TgK | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Sharpiee | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | sly | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly | 351 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Advil | 222 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Juaneria | 174 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | TgK | 170 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 152 | 0.19 | 4 min |





