








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1333 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1284 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,259 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hmm | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | stunna | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | moses | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | HenryG | 67% | 33 |
| #5 | Mac | 65% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | bleh | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | vENdetta | 57% | 14 |
| #11 | YouM3 | 56% | 48 |
| #12 | jod | 56% | 9 |
| #13 | don | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YouM3 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Mac | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | moses | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | B-Dog | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | don | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HenryG | 154 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | YouM3 | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | a/x | 79 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mac | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | moses | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YouM3 | +4.50 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | hmm | +3.03 | 61 | 83 |
| #3 | HenryG | +2.40 | 88 | 72 |
| #4 | JustHarry | +2.28 | 90 | 60 |
| #5 | moses | +1.72 | 67 | 67 |





