








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 21% |
| Smokes | 313 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 154 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,251 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lightning Weener | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Chravis | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | DaxShepard#1Fan | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | monkey | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | LyrAmouteru | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chravis | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | monkey | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | LyrAmouteru | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | TURBO | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Mr_Meows | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | +4.47 | 64 | 33 |
| #2 | DaxShepard#1Fan | +0.71 | 37 | 41 |
| #3 | TheEntirePopulationOfBotswana | +0.55 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | Chravis | -0.04 | 56 | 38 |
| #5 | LyrAmouteru | -1.29 | 54 | 39 |





