








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 2% |
| Smokes | 417 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 278 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 71 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,900 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Jetz | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Deathhood | 55% | 127 |
| #4 | PETER GAMING | 53% | 92 |
| #5 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Jetz | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Deathhood | 55% | 127 |
| #4 | PETER GAMING | 53% | 92 |
| #5 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | 33 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | PETER GAMING | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Jetz | 8 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 6 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | 429 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | PETER GAMING | 216 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 115 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jetz | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | +5.87 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | +3.63 | 95 | 54 |
| #3 | Jetz | +1.13 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | PETER GAMING | -0.90 | 78 | 42 |
| #5 | Sleepy Man Gaming | -2.47 | 71 | 55 |





