








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7000 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6472 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 762 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 3717 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,516,398 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetz | 68% | 150 |
| #2 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 68% | 108 |
| #3 | PETER GAMING | 56% | 350 |
| #4 | Randy Bobandy #Trump2024 | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | dog with sunglasses | 55% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 68% | 108 |
| #3 | PETER GAMING | 56% | 350 |
| #4 | Randy Bobandy #Trump2024 | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | dog with sunglasses | 55% | 127 |
| #6 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetz | 34 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | PETER GAMING | 28 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 21 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 19 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | dog with sunglasses | 9 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETER GAMING | 711 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Randy Bobandy #Trump2024 | 385 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sleepy Man Gaming | 251 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jetz | 230 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 50 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | +3.97 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Randy Bobandy #Trump2024 | +2.66 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | +2.41 | 94 | 51 |
| #4 | Jetz | -0.12 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | PETER GAMING | -1.52 | 72 | 41 |





