








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2792 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2305 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1597 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,799 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetz | 61% | 71 |
| #2 | Khurtussy | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | PETER GAMING | 52% | 343 |
| #5 | Deathhood | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | 43 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | PETER GAMING | 33 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Jetz | 20 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | LetsJustJerkIt | 15 | 0.0259 |
| #5 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 8 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETER GAMING | 896 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | Deathhood | 426 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jetz | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Khurtussy | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | LetsJustJerkIt | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathhood | +5.61 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | +1.15 | 93 | 49 |
| #3 | LetsJustJerkIt | +0.35 | 51 | 13 |
| #4 | PETER GAMING | +0.25 | 73 | 42 |
| #5 | Jetz | +0.06 | 74 | 51 |





