








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6549 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4956 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3691 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3363 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,366 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Don | 47% | 139 |
| #12 | ElChupa | 45% | 97 |
| #13 | pieniliisa | 43% | 51 |
| #14 | Tsingis69 | 36% | 25 |
| #15 | Ypi | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | JoniBonJovi | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Zukkero | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pieniliisa | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Ruzleff | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | 686 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Ruttunen | 506 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | JoniBonJovi | 439 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | HiltuJakki | 235 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Zukkero | 227 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HiltuJakki | +2.28 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | Isoluinen | +0.98 | 39 | 69 |
| #3 | Zukkero | +0.92 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | JoniBonJovi | +0.59 | 40 | 76 |
| #5 | Ruzleff | +0.23 | 30 | 67 |





