








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3096 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2522 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1189 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,086 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barakuda | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | el flosho | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | OngDavid | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | T7M0 | 67% | 57 |
| #5 | ReaxtEU | 61% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ReaxtEU | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | jnN buM ☂ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | T7M0 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Tetra | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jnN buM ☂ | 563 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 320 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | ReaxtEU | 267 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | T7M0 | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tetra | 124 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | +1.83 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | ReaxtEU | +1.66 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | jnN buM ☂ | +1.14 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | NYZE | +0.38 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | OngDavid | -0.04 | 81 | 53 |





