








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1582 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1787 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1404 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1680 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,880 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLB | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | NYZE | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | XegaX | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | crs | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | 𝓟𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖆¢𝖍𝖎𝖓𝓸ツ | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crs | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ReaxtEU | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | NYZE | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jnN buM ☂ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crs | 255 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | NYZE | 228 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #3 | ReaxtEU | 205 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | jnN buM ☂ | 192 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dami0nx3 | 153 | 0.15 | 3 min |





