








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1717 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1573 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1345 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1542 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,980 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NYZE | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | jnN buM ☂ | 62% | 69 |
| #3 | ReaxtEU | 61% | 71 |
| #4 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | Barakuda | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ReaxtEU | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | SKRPZ | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barakuda | 463 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | NYZE | 388 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | jnN buM ☂ | 267 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | ReaxtEU | 222 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hog Rider Enjoyer | +2.63 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Barakuda | +1.75 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | ReaxtEU | +1.04 | 91 | 63 |
| #4 | T7M0 | +0.69 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | emj4y | +0.40 | 78 | 54 |





