








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1623 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1769 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2170 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1724 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,454 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ynnej | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | rass | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | tuX♥ | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Swim Kiks | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | metA^ | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | metA^ | 55% | 56 |
| #6 | Hekki | 55% | 44 |
| #7 | jeguu | 49% | 81 |
| #8 | _rAnz | 45% | 40 |
| #9 | Eesnahk | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swim Kiks | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | _rAnz | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | metA^ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Eesnahk | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | jeguu | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swim Kiks | 348 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | metA^ | 252 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | _rAnz | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hekki | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | jeguu | 78 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cArma. | +3.13 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Hekki | +1.45 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | metA^ | +0.39 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Eesnahk | +0.28 | 77 | 78 |
| #5 | _rAnz | +0.14 | 79 | 62 |





