








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 676 | 24% |
| Smokes | 722 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 743 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,668 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | vAALtsu | 48% | 52 |
| #11 | IpZ | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Pedroo | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | APIX | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | ckz | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | FroZen | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | voois | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Ishkander | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Pedroo | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | 362 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | FroZen | 132 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | voois | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | IpZ | 105 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| #5 | Perryyy | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | +2.32 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Ishkander | +2.00 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Pedroo | +1.86 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | voois | +1.00 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Perryyy | +1.00 | 65 | 69 |





