








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2266 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1443 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 775 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1764 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,771 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 90s Sharon Stone | 49% | 123 |
| #2 | bep | 46% | 103 |
| #3 | Papa Capinya'ass | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Safety | 43% | 173 |
| #5 | icedoutswaggedout | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 90s Sharon Stone | 49% | 123 |
| #2 | bep | 46% | 103 |
| #3 | Papa Capinya'ass | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Safety | 43% | 173 |
| #5 | icedoutswaggedout | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safety | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 90s Sharon Stone | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | icedoutswaggedout | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | bep | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Papa Capinya'ass | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safety | 584 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | bep | 315 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | 90s Sharon Stone | 180 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | icedoutswaggedout | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Papa Capinya'ass | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bep | +2.73 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Safety | +1.86 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | 90s Sharon Stone | +1.68 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Papa Capinya'ass | -0.02 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | Slambo Krony | -2.49 | 46 | 47 |





