








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3529 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2733 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2238 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,750 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [EQ]TheObviousWulf | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | ward | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | Pilsner | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | p4905 | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Davo2Trappy | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [EQ]TheObviousWulf | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | ward | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | Pilsner | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | p4905 | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Davo2Trappy | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ward | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | p4905 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | [EQ]TheObviousWulf | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | 276 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | [EQ]TheObviousWulf | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pilsner | 158 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | ward | 118 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Davo2Trappy | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHero™ | +1.57 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | Davo2Trappy | +0.61 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | [EQ]TheObviousWulf | +0.20 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | p4905 | -0.09 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | ward | -0.16 | 71 | 55 |





