








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5150 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1861 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6752 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2802 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,706 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snarkyalyx | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Lunar | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | shus_h | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Slushie | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunar | 428 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | 282 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | snarkyalyx | 255 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Slushie | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Krabby Patty | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |





