










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 36% |
| Smokes | 308 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 558 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,280 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kynäniska | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Hitmarker | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | 𝓙𝓪𝓻𝓲 | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | 33tv1r | 35% | 17 |
| #12 | Vippi | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kynäniska | 3 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | 𝓙𝓪𝓻𝓲 | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Kynäniska | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Tyttökulta | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giggelsson | 136 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vippi | 71 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kynäniska | 57 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝓙𝓪𝓻𝓲 | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vasily | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |





