










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 24% |
| Smokes | 393 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 337 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,414 of utility $298 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flufff | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Q™ | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Estrogenware >w< | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | Freg | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Horseradishhasbugla | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomsey | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | WinnieTheJew | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Freg | 3 | 0.0273 |
| #4 | Estrogenware >w< | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niggalas Cage | 110 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Thomsey | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Estrogenware >w< | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Matt | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cruz@ | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flufff | +3.63 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | 127 | +2.95 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | Horseradishhasbugla | +2.11 | 89 | 69 |
| #4 | Estrogenware >w< | +1.91 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Niggalas Cage | +1.81 | 91 | 68 |





