








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 845 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 547 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6453 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6130 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 13755 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 9078 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,532,185 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℜising | 53% | 96 |
| #2 | JPBRIX | 53% | 221 |
| #3 | Gekke Henk | 53% | 262 |
| #4 | sSecxE | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | bum bum t3c | 51% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExceSs | 43 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | sSecxE | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | JPBRIX | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Cr1s | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Gekke Henk | 9 | 0.0017 |





